Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Coming to Terms

With the fact that my baby is turning ONE in less than 2 weeks. I am in utter disbelief.

Over the past month I have been extremely emotional. Tearing up at Pampers commercials, falling asleep remembering when I was pregnant and just stopping and staring at Molly as she plays. I felt like a mess. Then it hit me, I am mourning my baby's, well, babyhood.

This past year has been amazing and filled with lots and lots of ups and downs. With the surprise of being pregnant in the first place and then falling so in love with Molly this emotional roller coaster has been exhausting.

We have been through a lot in a year. Looking back I realize we were not fully prepared to be parents. I'm not sure anyone ever is. And those first months kicked our butts. Our lil colicky baby was no help (we forgive her). Then we got to see her go from an infant to a baby, hitting milestones left and right and developing her little personality. We fell in love with her all over again as we began to learn what kind of person she is and understand we have a little human on our hands.

And now, in a blink of an eye, our baby is becoming a toddler.

It truly feels like yesterday when we were headed off to our birthing classes and preparing her nursery. It seems like I just went into labor and had her. Like I just met her. But alas, its been almost a year.

I already miss a lot of the things she used to do. And I feel like I didn't slow down and absorb enough of them in the moment (although we have about a billion pictures). I feel like I was looking to the next moment, the next milestone and not being still in what was happening in front of us. But I think that is how every parent probably feels.

So here I sit. In complete disbelief that this is happening. Sometimes I am still in disbelief that I have a child at all. But it happened. And its happening. So I better come to terms with it. I am about to have a toddler on my hands.

Whats the cure for this? Another baby, right?! hahahahaha Not quite yet.



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