When you are pregnant and day dreaming about your baby-to-be you conveniently jump ahead to 6 months of age, not thinking about those first few months and what they will really be like.
You imagine picnics in the park, walks with your new family through the neighborhood, giggles and laughs while you read bed time stories. You don't, even for a second, consider the reality of very little sleep, lots of crying, constant feeding, being stuck at home on the couch in front of the same dull daytime TV shows. BUT...that is the reality of mothering a newborn. And its hard.
As a first time Mom these things didn't register with me. I leaped ahead to post "newborn" phase in all my baby fantasies. And now, its slapping me in the face.
I am doing my best to take it day-by-day but all sorts of challenges I wasn't expecting have hit our new family. I have constant feelings of "I wasn't ready for this" and "I am a failure as a Mom." Because seriously, this is the hardest thing I have ever done...by a longshot.
In between all those frustrations and hardships there are wonderful moments, and its those moments you must hold onto as long as you possibly can and let yourself continue to day dream about the walks and the picnics because eventually those days will come.
And the love you have, you just let it wash over you.